What Makes a Man a Man? Self-esteem and self-confidence are very, very different concepts.

The great Charles Darwin at one time put forward a very interesting theory, which, according to the scientist, could perfectly explain all the unclear questions related to the origin of species, including answering the burning question of the origin of man. Far-sighted materialist scientists, having received at their disposal such a wonderful weapon in the fight against the Christian doctrine of Creation, immediately practically elevated Darwin's theory to the rank of an axiom and an immutable truth.

However, now we will not enter into any debate about how everything that exists on Earth, including man, came to be. We are more interested in another question: What makes a person a Human...

Man is, in essence, just a highly organized animal with intelligence. But is there something that distinguishes humans from primates? So what is it anyway? What it does Let's look at some opinions on this matter.

The ability to learn is what makes a person human. Indeed, the ability to learn favorably distinguishes humans from highly organized animals - as it seems at first glance. But many dog ​​owners, trainers and handlers will disagree with this statement, confirming the correctness of their words with the numerous achievements of their pets. Moreover, there are computer programs, capable of self-learning, and this can no longer even be called alive.

It is only human nature to think. Maybe. But if you take a closer look at the behavior of many animals, birds and even insects and remember that not a single scientist in the world has yet proven the opposite, we can assume that our smaller brothers can also think...

Perhaps society makes a person? Yes, society is a great force that can influence the thoughts and actions of each individual person. But this also does not always happen. How then do outcasts and hermits come about? After all, if society makes a person, then everyone should be the same?

Another question that worries the minds of many is the question of morality. It is morality, as well as the ability for creativity and Love, that seems to distinguish humans from highly organized animals. In this regard, too, not everything is clear. It is believed that only an educated person can be moral. But does education make a person moral? You can answer this question simply by looking around. Surely in the life of every person there have been brilliantly educated people who have excellent manners, are pleasant to talk to, well dressed, but at the same time capable of betraying and literally walking over the bones of those around them to achieve their goals. Does education make a person moral? - Alas, that would be too easy...

Love and Creativity are what actually makes a person a Human. Only this can be characteristic only of man from all the diversity of Creation. It is these qualities that bring a person closer to the Creator. “And God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female he created them” (Gen. 1:27).

Elsewhere (1 John 4:8) in Scripture we find wonderful words: “God is Love.” So, it is precisely the manifestation of Love that gives a person the right to this high title? Man is the best of all the Creations of the Lord, and the Lord loved us to such an extent that he sacrificed His Son so that we would have a chance to be saved and become His Children. Big, great Love, which each of us is able to recognize, connects us with the Creator, which means it makes a person a Human...

It brings a person closer to the Lord, therefore, it gives the ability to creativity, which only man and none of the animals are endowed with. But here we must keep in mind that God’s Creativity is primary. He creates out of nothing. Human creativity is secondary, because works of art are created only on the basis of what is around or in the heart of a person...

Of course, all reasoning on these topics may seem very controversial, like any philosophical conclusions, but can be regarded as a good attempt to get closer to the answer to one of the most troubling questions for all people: Who am I? Where? For what?

Who doesn't like to work? Nobody likes to work. At the same time, among philosophers, politicians, academics and writers, it was customary to speak about work exclusively in high, laudatory tones. Like a dead man.

You’ve heard “Work ennobles a person” a million times since childhood. Now think about it: you yourself really saw how a kid who strummed a guitar all day long, rode a skateboard, put light bulbs in his mouth and helped you pick up girls in a bar, suddenly went to a third-class fittings factory... and after that he suddenly became noble ? Has he got a nice suit and sexy sideburns? Has he learned to tell the difference between a 1982 Chateau Margaux and a 16 year old Lagavulin Scotch? Women and orders hang on it. And all thanks to work... No, well, have you seen this yourself? Did you see it with your own eyes? It is as hard to believe in ennobling work as in UFOs.

No, of course you have to work - no one likes a drunkard quitter. But let's see what the smart slackers said - people who achieved something in this life without working selflessly from Monday to Friday, like a damned monkey who probably died from overwork even before work made a man out of it

I love work: it captivates me completely. I can sit for hours and watch others work.

Jerome Klapka Jerome

Americans work if they pay well. The Russians are working. If they pay, good.

Vladimir Leonidovich Turovsky

There is never enough time to do the job right, but there is time to redo it.

Meskimen's Law

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Alphonse Allais

What a lazy person is, in essence: an ordinary person who is too lazy to even pretend to work.

Alphonse Allais

Work is the last refuge of those who can’t do anything else.

Oscar Wilde

He who knows how, does it, and he who does not know how, teaches.

Shaw George Bernard

They call me "the hardest working comedian." Not very impressive, huh? It’s the same as if they said: “He’s the most handsome guy... in the burn department.”

Jimmy Carr

When two people do the same thing, they are no longer the same.

Terence

Most people are willing to work endlessly just to avoid having to think a little.

Thomas Edison

It’s not so much the work itself that tires you, but the thoughts about it.

Marcus Fabius Quintilian

I started from scratch and through hard work reached a state of extreme poverty.

Groucho Marx

The world is made up of slackers who want to have money without working, and idiots who are willing to work without getting rich.

Bernard Show

It's amazing how important your job is when you need to take time off from it, and how unimportant it is when you ask for a raise.

Robert Orben

Work is sometimes something like fishing in places where there are obviously no fish.

Like every other person on the planet, I have good periods in my life, and sometimes the whole world is against me. And while I hate self-help advice (in the form of quotes under Instagram photos), sometimes I need a pick-me-up. Most of the time, to get out of the swamp (and my brain has a penchant for science and mathematics), I need to blow up a logic bomb in front of my nose.

This will be a long article. If you find it in your inbox and are already wondering what kind of crap it is, then just delete it. If you are reading this post in a browser window and see how slowly the scrollbar moves because the end is still far away, close the tab and return to the collections of tricks and tips.

Are you still here? Nothing, all unnecessary ones will be eliminated using points 1, 4 and 8.

This guide works when all sorts of crap happens in life. Does anyone write nasty things in the comments? Read this post. Someone demands a refund for a product you worked on for five years, and at the same time they find fault? Read the article. Did you get fired, did your client leave you? Read this post. The zombie apocalypse? Well then, stock up on food and weapons. And then read this post.

1. People get offended all the time.

We hold on to our beliefs. We love to talk about how broad our views are, but we ourselves find fault with other people over little things. Drivers crawling along the road (who speed up when the road widens to two lanes), seventeen-year-old yoga instructors (who spend the first 45 minutes of an hour-long class talking about the meaning of life), authors who stir up controversy on the Internet (like me), people who swear or cluttering up social media feeds...

Take it for granted that no matter what you do, someone may be unhappy with it. And will be.

This doesn't mean you need to stop minding your own business. Just don't be surprised when someone reports that .

2. If someone is offended by you, then he noticed you

Before you get discouraged because someone has spouted a lot of dirt, understand that this person took the time to tell you what they think. He found you, noticed and appreciated the product you made. Well, yes, he hates you. But you wasted his time because he takes minutes to talk about his hatred.

Even if you don't answer (and you shouldn't), you win. He doesn't want to know anything about you, but you're already on his radar. And then, if someone expresses dissatisfaction, that’s the maximum that can happen. Life goes on, the Earth still turns, someone got offended, and you became smarter.

A more tragic scenario: someone complains about you publicly. This is also not so scary, because people only pay attention to what concerns them personally. Therefore, public sensors and Twitter feeds will quickly forget about you.

We go crazy thinking that we will be hated. Especially when we do something for people and post it on the Internet. It’s better to understand that while a few people are scolding you, the rest are silently downloading your work. Or they even buy it, which is even cooler.

3. When people don't notice you, it's bad. But that's the way things are

If no one hates you, then no one cares about you. If you need attention for confidence, a sense of self-worth, or, scary to imagine, to make money from it, understand that you won’t get it instantly. The people you pay attention to were once in your place. They want others to start listening to them.

And one more thing: if no one is looking at you, you are truly free.

Dance in your underwear. Write to the table for yourself. Swear like you just returned from a swear sale. Find yourself. Not in the ways that grown-up hippies do, eating pasta and meditating in an ashram, but in ways that will help separate the important things from the unimportant. Do something just because you feel like it. Lay the foundation for the confidence that will soon come.

4. People will judge you no matter what you do. Because they love to judge

Fear makes you worry about what others will think. The question of whether people will judge you is not even worth it, because they definitely will. People like to pretend to be judges, and the verdicts are scary.

True story: I just received an invitation to an event, read it and immediately decided it sucked. I even said out loud: “Fucking hippies!” I was invited to a party to dance, eat organic local food, drink rosé, take pictures with people who had dreadlocks, were into body art, and were constantly hugging. Should others miss a party just because I won't go? No. Is the party going to be terrible because I don't think much of the hippie crowd? Yes, they didn’t care about me. They're going to drink their wine (perhaps from cups they carved from wood while talking to the fairies), dance all night, and have a blast.

So here it is. You don't have to do like me. Do like these hippies. Not literally, of course (although you never know), but you get my point.

Look at things from this angle: whether you do or don’t do something, someone will still judge you. Even if you are afraid and do nothing at all, you will receive a portion. And if there is no difference, maybe it’s worth doing something? This way, even if you criticize yourself, you will at least sleep peacefully at night (tired of wine and dancing - in a figurative sense). And everyone else who is trying to judge you, you can politely send them to hell.

It is important to us what others say. But it is dangerous to value other people's opinions above your own.

As importance decreases, the list should look like this:

1. Your opinion about yourself.
2. Someone's opinion about you.

There should be a huge distance between the first and second points.

5. Fortunately, judgment and respect are two different things.

Condemnation and respect are not the same thing. People may think you're an asshole but think highly of you. People may completely disagree with you, but still recognize your merits.

And vice versa. You may be considered a decent and pleasant person, but not respected one bit. It is customary to wipe your feet on nice people. It's disgusting, but what can you do? On the other hand, no one will wipe their feet on a person who commands respect.

6. If you respect yourself, others will begin to respect you

In a world where everyone is trying to offend and judge you, it is damn difficult to respect yourself. But it is necessary.

Figure out what you respect yourself for first, and others will soon begin to do the same. This is because people behave like sheep in a flock. They see someone acting a certain way and start repeating it. Like millions of lemmings and hamsters. Derek Sievers told a TED talk about how one guy started dancing and everyone picked up on his moves (or maybe he just drank some rosé). And if you respect yourself - loudly and proudly - chances are others will too. And if not, you will have a whole bag of self-esteem, which is cool.

7. Self-esteem and self-confidence are very, very different concepts.

Self-respect means knowing exactly what you are willing to do and what you are not ready to do. This is your honor and dignity. This is the line you draw to understand your place in life and appreciate what you have done.

Self-respect does not give you privileges and additional rights. Slow down, dude!

Overconfidence is when you think you are worthy of something. You deserve only self-respect and adequate assessment of others. To achieve the rest, you need to work hard. And even then, not everything turns out the way you want. The card just didn't work out that way.

Impudence is the most quick way lose respect. The world doesn't revolve around you. You don't deserve anything you haven't earned. You need to start small and grow, invest in development. You can’t just go and become famous or make money doing what you love to do. The world works differently, and I'm glad about it.

Ashton Kutcher was right when he said, “The path to a good life is to work hard, be smart, considerate and generous. The only thing that could be beneath your dignity is not to work.”

Self-respect does not mean that you deserve something or that you are better than others. This does not mean that you can afford not to take risks (as we all do) and not be interested in where your actions will lead.

8. You don’t need someone who doesn’t respect you.

So, you've loaded up on your self-esteem. And I realized that self-confidence is trash. And some people still don't want to respect you.

The best reaction to these people is: as long as they don’t bother you, don’t care about them. They won't support your work or help you. Get rid of them as quickly and quietly as possible. Otherwise, they will hang on you like a dead weight and prevent you from moving towards victory.

As long as they don't do any harm, don't pay attention. People who don't respect you shouldn't be allowed even close to your life. This is not your audience, not your flock, not your clients. They are not needed at all.

9. You only need those who respect and appreciate you

If you exclude trolls and assholes from your life, there will be two categories of people left in the world: those who know nothing about you and those who value you. The former can be ignored until you need to win the audience's attention. Then you will have to tell them about your existence.

The second ones are your people. The most important to you on the planet. They don't just pay attention to you, they are interested. They should be treated like royalty. Work for them, be generous with them, and make sure they know how much you appreciate them.

10. Even shy people, introverts and “not like everyone else” can be confident

I'm a weird little nerd who is afraid of everything, doesn't like crowds and loves being alone. I'm definitely not your typical extrovert.

I'm confident, not because I'm selfish (okay, a little because of that), but because I try things, make mistakes and learn. I've spent my whole life learning how to do a couple of things (and am still working on it). You too can gain confidence this way. To do this you need to work and study.

You don't have to be loud to be confident. Sometimes the most confident person in the room may only say three things the entire evening. But when he speaks, everyone else shuts up and listens.

To be confident, you don't need to tell everyone how much you know. Confident people aware of their knowledge, and they do not need to prove anything. They share experiences when appropriate or when asked. And they do it in a way that helps themselves.

Confident man- this is not someone who jumps around the stage shouting platitudes and waving his arms. I'll bet 100,500 million dollars that he just doesn't feel confident. A confident person can be quiet, reserved, and know when to slow down.

11. Don’t worry like the world is ending tomorrow

And experiences are your everyday reality.

If you spend your nerves on everything and everyone, you will soon be left completely without them, or, even worse, you will get into nervous debts. There will be no time left, you will waste it on trifles and insignificant people, circumstances will control your life and bury all your undertakings in the ground.

If you pay attention to something unimportant too often, then this is a signal that not everything is in order with your life. You need to look for ideas and people who are worthy of your nerves.

Don't waste yourself on little things you can't control and on people who don't deserve it. For example, on trolls. And a long line at the cash register doesn’t cost a single nerve cell. Better meditate.

If you can contain your emotions and stock up, you will have something to react to when you really need it. Take care of your nerves! Hold back the negativity until the moment when you really need to throw it out.

12. You can worry about important things.

When something or someone really matters, it can take a few nerve cells and strong expressions. Give away emotions when required, otherwise they will become worthless and you will turn into a cynic. There is only a very small group of people and ideas that I am willing to take risks for. And I’m ready to spend my worries on them, because I’ve made a reserve, like a squirrel for the winter.

13. Calmness and apathy are not the same thing

Apathy is the indifference you feel towards unimportant things. Calmness is the ability not to attach importance to things that do not deserve it. This needs to be thought about and it needs to be understood.

Calmness is a character trait similar to. Apathy is a lack of feelings.

14. Greatness comes from being okay with stupidity.

Nobody knows what to do.

Experts, thought leaders who seem to have it all - there are too many opinions to consider to decide what will lead to success and what will not. And the whole difference between successful people and losers is that the first ones did God knows what and continued to do it until one of them worked. And then they wrote a bestseller about how they achieved it, as if they knew what they were doing all along. And they became even cooler. Such a cycle.

Doing something new and unknown is always scary. And no one can guarantee the result. You need to stand up, pull yourself up and take a step. Sometimes you can move forward. And sometimes the laces get tangled and you fall face down.

The most successful people are not afraid to look stupid when they try to do something. They think about what will happen, and not about other people's thoughts about themselves.

I even discovered (to my wife's dismay) that I enjoyed making a fool of myself in public. Let me tell you a little-known fact: “losers” enjoy life more because they know when to worry and when to give a damn about other people’s opinions, and they have fun drinking their rosé and dancing with themselves at concerts (or, like me, in the aisles between aisles in a supermarket).

15. We are all strange, abnormal, different

And you too. Use this to your advantage. The only way to stand out - to be a strange, abnormal self. Otherwise you will blend in with the crowd.

Understand what makes you different from others, even if it's hard to do. All the people you admire and look up to do exactly this. They have all accepted their characteristics and use them as strengths.

No one achieved fame and success simply by being the same as everyone else.

And those who seem normal are just pretending. Or maybe you just don’t know them well. Everyone has their cockroaches. We're all weirdos. That's why life is so interesting.

16. Give up boundaries that other people have set.

If they tell you: “Don’t do this, it won’t work,” understand that these words concern them, not you. People have the best intentions, but their advice is based on personal experience, their choice and all sorts of bullshit.

Set your boundaries and accept only them. Don't want to answer your boss's calls and emails after 11 pm and on Saturdays? Well, don't answer.

Boundaries are like self-respect. Most people would be happy if you stayed within the boundaries because they made them up. Let them know that you are not happy with this state of affairs. This will make you not an asshole, but a strong personality and a respected person.

Never let anyone set limits. Because these will be someone else’s attitudes, not yours, and you will have to follow someone else’s lead.

17. Be honest with yourself. Know who you are and who you are not.

When you gain self-respect and create your own boundaries, you learn a lot about yourself, so you can define who you are. But be honest about this. First with yourself, then with others.

It's much easier to be honest if you play the role that you need. Being honest is easier and ultimately more fun.

18. You can be honest without being rude

Feel the difference between situations: clearly express your opinion about something or behave like a sheep. If you don't like someone or something, don't argue. Sometimes being honest means just shutting up and moving on. To become a great person, you don't always have to win. Sometimes you need to make others feel like winners. Sometimes it's better to be a nice person than to be right.

Honesty does not give you the right to wag your tongue with impunity, ending your speech with the words: “Yes, I just wanted to tell the truth!” No, you were just being rude. Do not do it this way.

Even other boors don't like boors. If you are rude, you will die alone, surrounded by 17 cats, who will have no one to feed.

To understand when you are being honest and when you are just being rude, think first and speak later. Otherwise, instead of words, you risk giving out a stream of abuse. If you notice such a flaw in yourself, take a five-second pause before starting a conversation. A pause works wonders.

19. The less you expect, the more successful you will become.

The Bhagavad Gita, a mega-wise and old Hindu book, says: “We are worthy of work, not the fruits of it.” A deep and true thought.

Don't start a business just because you want a reward. Start because you want to do it. It's like writing a book because you want to publish a bestseller. No one can guarantee you such a result. You should write a book because you want to write. With this approach, regardless further development events, you will already complete the task.

Focus on what you are doing, as if the result does not matter.

All the points listed above are worthless without your attention. Attention to others, to your nerves and, most importantly, to yourself. You alone are responsible for your life, start managing it yourself.

Like this. Nineteen tough, invigorating tips to help you win. Now stop reading collections on the Internet and go to work.

There are several definitions of the concept “Big Man”. Let's look at each of them separately, and also look at ways of self-improvement in general.

Definition

1. A big man, like a man with a capital P, is someone who has worldly wisdom, who is always ready to help, who preaches goodness and altruism, who will not pass by if you are in trouble.
2. A big man, i.e. great, is the one who put most of his life serving the country or science and art. Such people are completely dedicated to the work they do.
3. A big man, i.e. influential - a person who has authority among other people. Usually they say about such people that they can “buy” anyone and anything.

What makes a man a big man

To become a person with a capital “H,” you must, first of all, sow goodness around you, help people in everything and always. You can choose some noble cause for yourself, for example, opening a fund to help sick people, orphans, disabled people, war veterans, etc. But this requires a lot of money, and to be a great person, you don’t have to be rich . Even if you transfer 100 rubles from time to time to the account of people or animals in need, this will already make you better. After all, if you respond to other people's pain, help others cope with their grief, show empathy and mercy, this makes you a greater person.

To become great, you need to leave a mark and create something unique, something worthwhile. Maybe you will be able to write an amazing book, picture, song, make a discovery, develop new technique, find a cure for an incurable disease or save an endangered animal species. Many people dream of becoming famous and leaving their mark on history. Of course, it's not as simple as it seems. But if you really have the talent of a genius and if you work hard, you will succeed.

In order to become a big man in society, there are two ways: either you must have a lot of money, even a lot of money, or you must contribute to science / art during your lifetime, become the smartest person of your time, achieve maximum heights in your profession and become a master of your craft.

The information you are interested in is also in the article.